I have this second cousin who is coming to stay over Easter. Ive never met him. Don’t know what he looks like, all I know is that he has dreads. He arrives in town today. Every dreaded man I see I’m like “Is that my cousin?”. Hahah. Oh dear. I get excited about family!

I’m ready for someone to walk into my life now. I just want someone to think I’m the bee’s knees. But have I actually done anything to deserve it?

Oh god, it’s my last night in Chiang Mai. There’s a lovely English boy who’s name is Henry and he is sitting down stairs in the garden reading. I spoke to him a little earlier today, but I was choking on my words. He’s coming to Aus in Jan, and travelling the easy coast. I’ve been down there 3 times already tonight trying to start a convo, but I get super nervy and say a few sentences then I’m like “Ok bye!” And walk off. Haha I have to laugh at myself. All I want to tell him is that he should get in contact when he hits my town in Aus and I’ll show him some cool places. Gosh I’m so silly.

Hello all. I’m heading to Thailand tomorrow, so not a lot will be happening on my blog over the next 3 weeks. I’ll try post if I can/have time/feel like it. But I think I’ll mostly just be soaking up the Thai vibes.

See ya in a few weeks lovers! x

So I just googled myself (don’t lie, you’ve all done it you self involved lovers), and anyway I found some of my artwork on Pinterest! Mental. It hasn’t been updated in a while but if you want to see my artwork blog head on over heeeeerrrrrrrreeeeee. <3

Wowa. Just had to stop myself buying shirts online from ASOS. There are discounts for Uni students. 2 shirts for $30. Had to force myself to put the Visa card back in my wallet. I’ll never make it to Thailand if this is how I spend!

Had a little magical moment today when serving a handsome young man, when I handed him back his change our hands touched and a little spark was felt, as he said thanks I met his big blue eyes and he smiled at me. It was nice.

I’m having a sad day, basically cause I’ve been secretly in denial about the size of my breasts. Today, when bra shopping, I kept going to try all the DD’s but the lady was like ‘Honey, I think you need bigger that.” Yeah ok, I’ve always been the one with the tits, but somewhere in the back of mind I’ve always been like “they’re not that big, don’t worry”. Ahhhhh, I’m accepting defeat in the form of an E cup. And I know I shouldn’t have a whinge about my boobs being too big, cause lots of people wish they had boobs this size, but no. It fucking hurts to run ok. And try having to pay $70+ for special bras cause your regular bra shop doesn’t sell anything bigger than a D.

Ok, whinge over. Sorry.

And so I stand by, only to be played the fool again.

There’s nothing like a little bit of paranoia to settle an unstable mind. I feel queezy, come on - kick me whilst I’m down.

Guys, I have a question for you all. If you could please answer that would be wonderful as it’s for my Uni research for an art project. Please interpret the question however way you want or however it makes sense to you. If you have more than one answer by all means share them. Thanks in advance! X

Q. What is a forgotten thing?

My mother just called to tell me that my little brother’s best friend passed away. She got sick over the weekend and was hospitalized. She passed away at lunch time today. Although my brother is 11 years old, and there is and 11 year age gap between us, we are still incredibly close.

How do you tell such a young kid that their friend has died? How does someone that young cope with such news?

My brother is devastated. And it upsets me so much to see him hurting so badly, and I just don’t know what to do for him. But I suppose there is nothing I can really do for him, apart from be there if he needs me.

Rest in Peace, Paris. Such a beautiful and intelligent darling girl. She will be missed incredibly. My love and thoughts are with her family at this time.

Have decided come summer/end of Uni for year, I am going to kick myself into gear and get healthy. Salads, juices! Exercise, swimming in the bay, running, beach walks, lighthouse walks. Early starts and making the most of my days!

I have this sickness that swallows me up.

But I don’t have a fever, or a raspy throat.

I can’t move, no matter what my mind tells my body.

And I’ll lay here, consumed in soulless breathing.

Waiting until the light rises, and sets. Twice over.

And when I am done, and my body tells me I can leave;

You’ll be the first one I run too.

I carried 5 books around in my canvas backpack today. I don’t think I realized until just now, 5. Like 5 books, and they were big ones, we are talking like 1000 page novelas here people. Why did I have 5 books? Sure I like to read, sure I LOVE to read, but wow. Maybe this is getting out of hand. Whatcha gonna do Miller, alternate between all 5 on your lunch break reading session? Wow. FIVE. Maybe my book obsession is getting a little out of hand.

(HAHAHAHA NO WAY WHO AM I KIDDING!)